The Hardest Tongue-Twisters...

DO you like puzzles? Well, Korean is kind of like that. I've loved Korean for the fact that it can be as tedious as a crossword but unlike a crossword isn't a total waste of your time. Like, it's actually possible to 'get'. It has been called the most scientific language ever created. Most letters of the Korean alphabet are pronounced the same regardless of their placement within a syllable.

Before this small peninsular country existed in my consciousness I wrote off all Asian languages as a wash and all other Latin-based languages as a snore. You mean to tell me that the word for chocolate in Spanish is...chocolate?! No way, stop, that is too interesting. Guess what the French word for chocolate is? Chocolat. Now that's a word that's about as interesting as the movie was.

It's really no wonder that as the two main languages offered in public school the only real goal of learning either Spanish or French is to convince the bureaucracy of whatever state you're living in that you are 'well-rounded'. For most kids the only factor that goes into learning one or the other is whether Spanish or French is easier somehow, or, perhaps, if their older siblings happen to have notes they could copy from. This trend continues into college where people actually pay for the classes they take. Only in the case of a college student their choice is based off of whatever they slid by with in High School. How well-rounded can someone be if they learn to fear pursuing something different and only exhibit this mythical trait when forced?

I feel like schools have removed all of the gratification one would feel from learning a language of their own volition. Specifically, the moment where two people from totally different background are reduced to hand signals to convey their meaning. In this case each remembered word from your language of study becomes a valuable fulcrum of understanding. You're interested in the heritage of the person you're talking to, which entails all of the history and customs you've been fascinated with. In this rare and quintessentially human experience you find that the person to whom you're speaking is a living vessel who may confirm or deny all that you have, until that point, only heard.

When I was in D.C. for that previously recounted week of delirium and heat I had one such encounter. From the Korean matron of a subway restaurant I learned that her father lived in Korea and that you always get your Kimchi with rice (김치 하고 밥). Much was spoken, little was understood, but all was remembered.

To those of you who passed French well before I, and I assure you that could be anyone, all I can say is: Enjoy being well-rounded. For your part you can believe what you've been told. For my part I believe that if we were all well-rounded then this Earth would make for a more perfect sphere. Maybe while were at it we could make a class that teaches students to be wise, just to save parents the trouble. We could call it Health class, make that a requirement, and see how things go. If that doesn't work I guess we'll just read them their rights.

With that said, here are some tongue-twisters that will make you wish the Korean language was never conceived. Enjoy!

Bonus: Try to sound out a word using this:

간장공장 공장장은 장 공장장이고 된장공장 공장장은 강 공장장이다.
The manager of the soy sauce factory is Manager Jang and the manager of the soy paste factory is Manager Gang


경찰청 쇠창살 외철창살, 검찰청 쇠창살 쌍철창살
The police headquarters' iron window bar (has) single-layer iron bars; the public prosecutor's office's iron window bar (has) double-layered iron bars.


저 분은 백 법학박사이고 이 분은 박 법학박사이다.
That is Mr. Baek, a doctor of laws, and this is Mr. Park, also a doctor of laws.

And now to separate the chobu from the gosu...

안촉촉한 초코칩 나라에 살던 안촉촉한 초코칩이 촉촉한 초코칩 나라의 촉촉한 초코칩을 보고 촉촉한 초코칩이 되고 싶어서 촉촉한 초코칩 나라에 갔는데 촉촉한 초코칩 나라의 문지기가 "넌 촉촉한 초코칩이 아니고 안촉촉한 초코칩이니까 안촉촉한 초코칩 나라에서 살아"라고해서 안촉촉한 초코칩은 촉촉한 초코칩이 되는것을 포기하고 안촉촉한 초코칩 나라로 돌아갔다.
A non-moist chocolate chip cookie that lived in non-moist chocolate chip cookie land saw a moist chocolate chip cookie from moist chocolate chip cookie land and wanted to become a moist chocolate chip cookie and so went to moist chocolate chip cookie land, but the gate-keeper of moist chocolate chip cookie land said, "You are not a moist chocolate chip cookie, but a non-moist chocolate chip cookie, so live in non-moist chocolate chip cookie land," so the non-moist chocolate chip cookie gave up on becoming a moist chocolate chip cookie and went back to non-moist chocolate chip cookie land.

That last one is a little sad, actually.

(Source for tongue twisters: http://www.alphadictionary.com/fun/tongue-twisters/korean_tongue_twisters.html)